Love; a strong feeling of affection.
Love is a tricky thing. There’s no doubting that. You can love someone, or love something. Recently I read an article on the six styles of love, it was intriguing. Love is used in so many contexts like loving your workplace, your perfume, your boss or your lover. Those dimensions are so different, but real.
The ancient Greeks used specific words to describe certain styles of love, this was the basis for an idea created by Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee in his book – Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving (1973) [the seventies, yep free love] – the colour wheel theory of love that describes six styles of love.
Eros derived from the Greek term meaning erotic and passionate. The romantics. Chemistry is a must. Highly sensual. They love to be in love and often give their lovers nicknames like babe. They live in a love fantasy and need to be constantly cared for by their lover.
Ludus means in Latin “game” – they need to have fun in love. Playing tricks, teasing and “the chase” of love drives them. When they aren’t in a serious relationship, they’ll play the game. I’d say they’d enjoy the swiping style of Tinder. They need that playful interaction to even consider going to the next level of a relationship and if they do get there, it’s because of the fun adventures they’ve shared with their prospective partner that makes them fall in love.
Storge is slow, rather friendship first and likes to have stuff in common to commit rather just rely on passion. They need trust and familiarities, that’s what makes them loyal. Much like family love, they are committed through tough times and often if they breakup they’ll still be friends.
Yes, a little manic. This type of love is a mix of Eros & Ludus and can be possessive and are co-dependent. Unfortunately this can drive jealousy – manic love. I imagine a scene from Fatal Attraction is relevant here. They will have ups and downs deeper than other love styles depending on how their lover can help them through those times.
The purest form of love. Unconditional selfless love. This love style views their lovers as a blessing, they worship and are grateful for the relationship. They give more than they receive and will do anything to make their lover happy. Sometimes they will feel inadequate if they’re unable to bring a smile to their lovers face.
The practical type. Where love is convenient. They need to be compatible with their lover and find value in the relationship. Because of their practicality in love their relationships usually last for a longer time. You might relate this to arranged marriages sometimes they really work and outlast many other types of love which a relationship was formed.
What does it mean for you?
I’m sure reading this you can relate to a few different styles of love. That’s normal, we are made up of little bits of each style, some styles stronger than others. Your love style can change overtime as you experience different things and change your views on the world.
How we feel about our other half will also change as we change. Most relationships overtime go from passionate to companion and these are the relationships that will often last the longest. But even in the longest relationships there’s still room for a little romantic gesture or pinch on the butt cheek. Love comes in many forms, make the most of it.